With Allies Like These: A Forensic Autopsy of America’s Toxic Friendship with Israel.
They say you can’t choose your family, but apparently, you can bankroll your backstabbing friends. 🇺🇸❤️🇮🇱 🤷🏽♂️
A fortnight ago, I shared my thoughts questioning why Britain continues to support Israel, despite their long-standing and rather strained relationship. It seems only logical that I do the same for Britain’s abusive, racist, and bullying handler, good old Uncle Sam. In the glittering Hall of Special Relationships™, the United States and Israel share a particularly tender alcove. Billions in aid, UN vetoes on speed-dial, and enough diplomatic backrubs to cause international eczema. Israel is often portrayed as America’s BFF: a “like-minded democracy,” a “strategic partner,” a “Middle Eastern lighthouse” in a sea of angry oil.
But dig just a fraction below the PR crust, and this relationship starts to look less like Churchill and Roosevelt and more like that mate who borrows your car, crashes it, denies it happened, and somehow convinces you to pay for the repairs.
So, grab your declassified files, shake off your cognitive dissonance, and let’s dive into the most forensic, historically grounded, and bitingly sarcastic tour of why this star-spangled bromance deserves a hard rethink.
The ‘Dancing Israelis’: Foreknowledge, Mossad, and a Very Suspicious Removal Van:
September 11th, 2001. America reels as planes hit the Twin Towers. Amid the panic and horror, a curious report emerges: five men, “Middle Eastern looking,” spotted cheering and filming the attacks across the river in New Jersey. One witness even says they were “dancing.”
Police intercept a white van. Inside? Five Israeli nationals—Sivan Kurzberg, Paul Kurzberg, Oded Ellner, Omer Marmari, and Yaron Shmuel. They’re arrested and detained. What follows is 71 days in FBI custody, polygraphs, counterintelligence questioning, and oh yes, a discovery that all five worked for a mysterious moving company: Urban Moving Systems.
You may be thinking: “That’s weird.” It gets worse.
Urban Moving Systems – A Mossad Front?
The FBI began peeling back the layers. According to The Forward (a Jewish-American publication, not exactly known for peddling anti-Israel conspiracies), Urban Moving Systems was a Mossad front. At least two of the men appeared in CIA-FBI databases of known or suspected foreign intelligence operatives.
The company’s owner, Dominik Suter, was interviewed by the FBI—then promptly fled to Israel and never returned. In case you’re wondering, yes, he left his business, assets, and computers behind like a man who accidentally booked the wrong escape room.
The official FBI files back this up and were, for a time, available online—until they mysteriously weren’t. They’ve since been recovered via the Internet Archive:
• FBI Report – The “Dancing Israelis”
• PDF Summary Compilation (in the weeks between me writing and hitting publish, this has now also become a dead link)… The DoGE shredding, no doubt. More links below.
News Report (including a clip of their TV interview in Israel).
The five were deported back to Israel without charges—presumably because charging foreign spies who don’t kill anyone is so last century. On Israeli TV, Oded Ellner proudly declared:
“Our purpose was to document the event.”
Wait. Document? What “event” exactly? How did you know what to “document”? Unless they were time-travelling street performers or gifted prophets with a camcorder, this is a smoking gun wrapped in a red flag.
The USS Liberty Incident: “Oops! We Thought Your Spy Ship Was… Something Else!”
June 8, 1967. The USS Liberty, a U.S. Navy intelligence vessel, patrols international waters during the Six-Day War. Israel, a close ally, knows it’s there. Everyone does. It’s broadcasting a U.S. flag the size of Delaware.
Then, out of nowhere, Israeli Mirage jets strafe the ship, followed by torpedo boats. Over 30 Americans are killed. 171 injured. Radio frequencies jammed. Lifeboats shot at.
Israel said, “Whoops, our bad, we thought you were an Egyptian horse barge with antennas.” The U.S. replied, “Cool cool cool, here’s a small cheque and some awkward silence.”
Internal NSA memos and declassified documents later confirmed Israel knew the Liberty was American. But realpolitik trumps justice, and the incident was quietly buried under the ever-thickening rug of strategic interests.
More here:
• USS Liberty Incident – Britannica
• NSA Archives – Liberty Documents
Jonathan Pollard: When Your “Friend” Ransacks Your Filing Cabinet.
Jonathan Pollard was a U.S. Navy intelligence analyst who decided America’s secrets would look prettier on someone else’s desk. Between 1984–85, he gave Israel hundreds of thousands of classified documents, including info on Arab military positions, Soviet tech, and—wait for it—U.S. intelligence assets.
This wasn’t a rogue operation. It was ordered and paid for by Israeli intelligence. Israel initially denied any connection—until they didn’t, eventually granting Pollard citizenship and lobbying for his release.
When Pollard was finally freed in 2015, he was welcomed in Israel with VIP treatment and Netanyahu hugs. Which makes perfect sense, because nothing says “special relationship” like being robbed blind and throwing a welcome-home party for the thief.
More here:
• Military.com – Jonathan Pollard’s Spy Damage
Friend With Benefits… And Russian Side Pieces.
In 2017, President Donald Trump accidentally leaked classified intelligence to Russian diplomats in the Oval Office. That intelligence? It came from Israel. The information related to ISIS bomb plots on airplanes.
Oops.
This episode alarmed both the U.S. intelligence community and Israel. Not because the info leaked—but because they were reminded how much they trust each other with intel.
And yet… Israeli agencies have a little habit of trading U.S. intelligence to third parties. Like Russia. Former U.S. intel officers say Israel has, at times, passed sensitive information to Moscow as a way to curry favour or extract concessions.
So while America assumes they’re pillow-talking with their soulmate, Israel’s been photocopying their secrets and whispering them to the bloke next door.
Sources:
• Vanity Fair – Trump Leaks Israeli Intel
The Mossad Passport Factory: Now Accepting Irish, Aussie, and American.
In 2010, Mossad operatives assassinated a Hamas commander in a Dubai hotel. The method? Hotel room ambush. The cover? Fake passports—from Australia, Ireland, the UK, and yes, America.
Governments were livid. Australian PM Kevin Rudd expelled an Israeli diplomat. Ireland declared it a breach of trust. The U.S. said… nothing much.
Israel essentially raided the passport drawers of its allies, printed new identities like a psychotic travel agent, and used them to run hits around the world. Imagine what’d happen if Iran did this. Actually, don’t. Just picture an airstrike and a UN resolution.
More here:
• ABC News – Israeli Diplomat Expelled Over Fake Passports
Final Thoughts: Why Is This Relationship Above Scrutiny?
Let’s be clear: this isn’t an indictment of the Israeli people, Jewish identity, or the state’s right to exist. But all of those things deserve individual scrutiny. It is an indictment of uncritical alliance, wilful blindness, and the idea that one “friend” is above suspicion—even when the body count says otherwise.
When a country bugs your White House phones (yep, Israel’s done that), steals your secrets, fakes your passports, kills your sailors, and has agents celebrating your darkest day while “documenting the event”—you don’t double their military funding. You ask some bloody questions.
Because if this is what friendship looks like, America might want to start seeing other democracies.
Scroll down to see my related article, same principle but focusing on the United Kingdom.
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📚 References:
https://archive.org/details/DancingIsraelisFBIReport/
(another broken link, this was working up until a few weeks ago) https://ia800902.us.archive.org/34/items/pdfy-7bAcDFxJgxxXcN0f/The%20Dancing%20Israelis%20On%20911.pdf
https://www.britannica.com/event/USS-Liberty-incident
https://nsarchive2.gwu.edu/NSAEBB/NSAEBB23/
https://www.military.com/history/jonathan-pollard-was-one-of-most-damaging-spies-us-history.html
https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2017/11/trump-intel-slip
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2010-05-24/israeli-diplomat-expelled-over-fake-passport-affair/838886
https://thewashingtonstandard.com/the-dancing-israelis-the-forgotten-documented-element-of-9-11/
https://www.indymedia.org.uk/en/2007/03/364884.html
🇬🇧 With Friends Like These…
I’ve tried to bite my tongue. I’ve tried to tell myself, “Surely this time the UK government will grow a spine.” But no. As of 2025, it’s still propping up a nation with a long and colourful history of not being “our” friend. Israel, that is. The one currently bombing, starving and shelling its way through Gaza while squealing “antisemite” every time an…
America and Israel are like your classic comedy duo: one is bumbling, gullible, fat and fatuous (America/Trump) and the other devious, cunning, silver-tongued and demonic (Israel/Netanyahu), except that their buddy-like banter demonstrates not how cleverly entertaining their routine is, but how perversely they feed off and gratify each other's egos. What would we call them? Donnie and Bibi, Vile and Viler, Hell and Fat Face, the Two Hitlers? I bet you've got an idea, James!
Wow! I came across the dancing Israelis story almost 10 years ago, and I never thought I'd see it again. What you are describing is exactly why George Washington warned against foreign entanglements... now look at us entangled in yet another genocide!