Dead Cat Politics: How to Distract a Country by Throwing a Feline on the Table

Distracting the public with scandals, shock, and sheer absurdity—because when in doubt, make them talk about anything else.

Oct 18, 2024

Let me introduce you to one of the most underrated techniques in modern political strategy: "deadcatting." The premise is simple and deeply human: when in trouble, distract. But don’t just distract with a little white lie or a minor scandal; no, you lob an outrageously absurd metaphorical "dead cat" onto the dinner table, so everyone is too busy recoiling in horror to notice the actual problem.

This technique was eloquently (and by eloquently, I mean in the most Boris Johnson way possible) explained by our favourite disheveled Etonian. In one of his *Telegraph columns back in 2013, Johnson recounted how his Australian friend - Lynton Crosby, the Svengali of distraction, taught him the art of throwing a “dead cat” to shift attention when things get sticky. It’s a political manoeuvre so brazen and obvious, you have to marvel at the fact that it actually works. Repeatedly.

Boris Johnson’s Top Four Dead Cats

Here are some of BoJo's finest moments of feline tossing, proving that nothing solves a PR crisis like a good ol’ distraction.

1. Let's Talk About Burqas" (2018)

When Boris found himself in political hot water, did he address the issue at hand? Of course not. He threw a dead cat in the form of comparing women wearing burqas to "letterboxes." Cue a media firestorm. A raging debate about Islamophobia and freedom of expression ensued, while the original issue, whatever that was, faded into the ether.

2. The Royal Yacht Fantasy (2021)

Ah, 2021. The pandemic was raging, the UK economy was on life support. What does Boris suggest? Building a new royal yacht. A shining £200 million distraction, ensuring that anyone who dared to discuss actual governance was drowned out by debates about luxury boats and patriotism.

3: The Savile Smear (2022)

In a particularly dark application of deadcatting, Johnson deflected from his own crumbling support during *Partygate* by claiming that Labour leader Keir Starmer failed to prosecute Jimmy Savile. Cue mass outrage, but the spotlight shifted, for just long enough, from his own illicit lockdown parties.

4: Brexit Bus Bonanza (2016)

Who can forget the bright red bus promising £350 million a week for the NHS? A blatant fib, of course. But did it matter? Not a jot. Everyone was so busy arguing about the NHS and buses that they forgot to question the wider implications of Brexit altogether. Classic dead cat.

Global Leaders Who’ve Perfected the Art of Deadcatting

Deadcatting isn’t exclusively British, no sir. Politicians the world over have been lobbing dead cats since time immemorial. If dead cats were a commodity on the stock exchange, I’d buy in big.

Here are five other world leaders who’ve embraced this fine art.

Donald Trump, yeah, Johnson’s brother from another mother. Let’s just quickly recall the “Covfefe” Moment.

When things got tough in Trumpworld, what did he do? He tweeted "covfefe." The internet exploded with memes, theories, and even a few serious conversations about coffee, while everyone forgot why they were mad at him in the first place.

Trump’s Bro - Vladimir Putin’s Shirtless Shenanigans

When your government’s corruption is being exposed, why not post a photo of yourself wrestling a bear or riding a horse shirtless? Putin has mastered the "distract with machismo" dead cat, and it’s worked spectacularly well at getting people to talk about his bare chest, rather than human rights abuses in issues addressing dangerous windows.

Silvio Berlusconi’s Bunga Bunga Parties

Italy’s longest-serving post-war Prime Minister, Berlusconi, had his very own brand of deadcatting: a constant parade of scandalous "bunga bunga" parties, ensuring no one had the energy to focus on his criminal trials or the country’s fiscal policies.

Trump’s pocket rocket-man, Kim Jong-un and his Missile Launches.

When North Korea is facing international scrutiny over human rights, Kim doesn’t issue a press release. No, he launches a big fuck-off missile, prompting worldwide fear and endless news coverage, all while avoiding any meaningful discussion of, say, his people’s living conditions.

Narendra Modi’s Demonetisation Bombshell

In 2016, when Modi’s government (sorry, for American’s, this is India’s Prime Minister and not an Italian Clothing shop) was being criticised for corruption, what did he do? He pulled a dead cat out of the economic playbook by demonetising 86% of India’s currency overnight. The chaos and confusion that followed successfully diverted public attention away from government scandals for months.

So Why Does Deadcatting Work?

You see, humans are simple creatures. We're easily distracted by shiny objects, outraged by scandal, and quick to react to controversy. Throwing a dead cat works because it forces the public and the media to focus on the shocking, rather than the substantive. Sure, the tactic is crude, but as long as the headlines shift from your failing policies or catastrophic mistakes, it's a win.

Now, the dead cat can’t be thrown every day; eventually, even the thickest of voters start noticing. Well, not so much the ones wearing red caps, but by and large in the short-term, it’s a goldmine for crisis management. Just make sure the cat is big, loud, and utterly ludicrous—otherwise, people might actually start talking about what’s going wrong. And we can’t have that, can we?

So the next time you see a politician doing something bafflingly stupid, ask yourself: is this just a dead cat? Chances are, it’s a strategic move to make you forget what really matters. And to any politicians out there reading this—remember, when in doubt, find a bigger cat.

Dead Cat Politics: How to Distract a Country by Throwing a Feline on the Table

Distracting the public with scandals, shock, and sheer absurdity—because when in doubt, make them talk about anything else.

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